


The Show Must Go On

by carolinenite



Category: The Newsroom (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 20:12:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17351840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinenite/pseuds/carolinenite
Summary: A different way that Wade betraying Mackenzie could have played out





	The Show Must Go On

**Author's Note:**

> Happy 2019, darlings! I hope you are all well, and I've so enjoyed the newest additions to our fandom. You guys really are wonderful. 
> 
> This is just a one-shot. Parts of it have been rolling around in my head for a while, and I finally found the time to sit down and hammer it out. I start classes again today, and I have to tell you-- these doctoral level classes are not leaving me much in the tank for writing. I'm still here, though, and I'm still planning to be here with y'all.
> 
> So much love to all of you!

Will shoved past the door to his office with such force that the glass vibrated in a sinus wave at the impact; he seemed not to notice and kept moving through the space, slamming the door his bathroom behind him.  His hands were shaking, and his emotions vacillated between a murderous rage and an infuriating sense of helplessness.

“Goddammit!”

Will’s foot connected with the small trashcan on the floor, sending it clattering across the room and colliding with the opposite wall with a bang.  He stared at the new dent in the metal bin and, for a short moment, allowed himself to fantasize about putting the same dent in the face of Wade Campbell.  It felt like the only reasonable course of action—pummeling Wade until he looked as bad as Will could tell that Mac felt.  Will swore at his reflection in the mirror again.

“You can’t think I used you to raise his profile!” she had said to him.  He had seen the fear in her eyes, felt the honesty in her simmering agony, so he had tried to placate her with the fewest possible words.

 “I know for sure you didn’t use me.”  And it would have been fine, would have stopped there, but she had opened herself up to him, forgetting, it seemed, that he made his entire life’s focus about making her miserable—just like she had made him.

“He used me.”

At that, he had made a valiant effort of stem the tide of her hurt.  He had heard himself say things that came dangerously close to sounding forgiving.  Her eyes had widened; her breath had hitched.  Before he could say anything else that could shake his unyielding position of moral superiority and steadfast unforgiveness, he had turned on his heel and stormed from her office into his.

Now, he stared at himself in the mirror of his bathroom and was forced to confront a truth that was startling to him:  he was happy to continue punishing Mackenzie, his Mackenzie, for her mistakes, probably would continue to do so until she could forgive herself.  She was still _his_ , though.  He’d been so wrapped up in keeping her at a distance, at finding new ways to torture her that he had missed the warning signs.  She had been hurt by someone other than him, and he hadn’t caught it, couldn’t fix it, wasn’t able to stop it as it played out now.  He absolutely could not pinpoint exactly why it was alright for him to treat Mackenzie as though she wasn’t worth the paper she was printed on, but when Wade did it, he wanted, quite frankly, to toss the bastard off the 44th floor balcony.  Could it be that he tolerated the behavior in himself because he knew, deep down, that it was only a matter of time until he reclaimed her?  He believed, knew that she still believed, that he was hers and that she was his.

Will shook his head, trying to clear the offending thoughts from his mind.  He really could kick himself, though.  Knowingly, he had pulled back, had left Mac to her own devices with Wade, not because he was apathetic to the situation but because it hurt to see another man’s hand on the small of her back but because it broke him to watch them leave events together.  The wrongness of his current situation crashed over him with ferocity.  Wade wasn’t the villain of this story, though Will had certainly left the door wide open for him to pursue and to use Mackenzie.  As much as his pride was loathe to admit it, Mackenzie wasn’t the bad guy either—not anymore.  She had admitted her mistakes, had atoned for them and had taken Will’s punishments on the chin while continuing to give 200% at work and in trying to make Will smile.  No, the real asshole here was Will.  His shoulders slumped at the realization.

He knew what he should do.  It was what he needed to do, not only for himself but because it was the absolute fucking least that she deserved from him.  She needed to know that his heart still cried out for hers if only to give her the opportunity to toss it back at him the way that he’d been doing since she had come back.  Will exited his office at the same time that Mac’s door opened, and he sent up a silent prayer of thanks that she was on the move, too.  His hand darted forward, caught her around the wrist, and tugged her into step behind him. 

Her head dropped as she trailed along, her dismay obvious at her perceived disappointment of the only man she truly hated to disappoint.  Will saw her posture in the reflection as they passed glass; he bit back the bile rising in his throat.  Had he really done this to her?  made her so afraid of his words, so ashamed of her own choices?  The answer was obvious:  yes, he had.

“Jesus fuck,” he grumbled quietly.

 “Billy, I’m so sorry…”  She cut herself off at the feeling of Will’s fingers gripping her wrist with greater force.  He smashed his free palm against the call button at the elevator bay.  The indicator light remained dark.  With an exaggerated huff, he tried a second time.  Again, the force of his gesture failed to call the elevator.  Mackenzie extracted her hand from Will’s and quietly depressed the elevator’s alert button.  She didn’t look up at him, couldn’t even risk a glance.  The silence between them stretched as they waited.  Will chanced a look at Mac, and his heart broke at her countenance.  She looked resigned; she looked tired; mostly, she just looked, to Will, sad.

Instinct overtook learned behaviors, and Will reached for her, fingers wrapping first around her shoulders before wrapping her fully in his embrace.  She offered a plaintive cry before allowing silent sobs to overtake her; the force of the emotion crashed out of her in waves.  With one hand, Will silently nudged the e-stop button, bringing the elevator to a halt.

“Shhhh, Mac, shhh.”  He kept her anchored to him with one arm while the other stroked her hair as she cried against him.  “Mackenzie,” Will tried again, “we can fix this.”  He heard himself offer to fix her relationship with Campbell and questioned his own sanity. 

“Obviously, we can’t, Will,” Mac shuddered through her tears.  “There’s too much that isn’t repairable.”

Will felt most of the breath leave his lungs and a coldness settle over him.  There wasn’t anything he could do?  He had lost her forever?

“Can we….” he faltered, unsure of how to ask the question.  “Can we make it through the show?”

Her shoulders drooped momentarily before stiffening; her chin rose defiantly, and she gave Will a steely but unreadable look. 

“Of course, I can get through the show, Will.  There’s nothing more important to a democracy that a well-informed electorate.”  She used the back of her hand to sling away the tears still on her cheeks.

“Mackenzie,” he tried again, “it’s all going to be alright.  We’re okay.”

“I’m going to make it through the broadcast.  It’s a broken heart, not a death sentence.  The show will go on.  It always does, doesn’t it?”

“That’s not… the show isn’t why…  he broke your heart?”  Had he really misjudged so badly?  Did she really belong with Wade the failed-fucking-pundit Campbell now?

“Figure of speech,” she said, attempting a flip tone and falling short.  She vaguely recognized the look on his face, but it wasn’t directed at her, hadn’t been in years, certainly couldn’t be now.

“Mac, hon, it’s really important to me that you answer this question directly, okay?”  His body felt like it was vibrating with the energy of not knowing.  The question felt like the only piece of information he would ever again need, but his mouth refused to form the words.  Until he knew, she was still his—Schroedinger’s Mackenzie.  He almost smiled, but the way that she stared at him, stoic and unknowable, quashed his wry amusement.  “Do you love him?”  He needed to be more specific, he could tell.  “Campbell.  Do. You. Love. Him?”  He bit out each clipped syllable through clenched teeth.  Mackenzie’s face registered confusion and vague horror.

“What did you say?”

“Goddammit, Mac!  Do you love him?”

She coughed through a choked sob.  This would be what broke her.  Will believed that she loved someone else, and he would throw her perceived heartbreak back in her face.  The tears started before she could steel herself against them, but before she could swipe them from her cheeks, she was enveloped by Will.  His arms wrapped around her and held her close against him once again.

“Honey, don’t cry.  If Campbell is what you want, we’ll get him back for you.  I won’t let anyone hurt you again, Mac.  I fucking swear it.”

The wrongness of Will’s words sunk slowly through Mac’s mind, finally breaking into the blissful fog of comfort that came with being back in Will’s arms.  She pushed herself back, out of his arms; her body immediately felt the loss.

“What are you saying?”  Her tone conveyed genuine confusion. 

Will bit back the bile that rose in his throat at being asked to repeat his words.  He worked to swallow his pride to explain himself to her.  If love was about putting the other person first, even at your own expense, he must goddamn well adore her.

“If Campbell is what you want—”  He was cut off by Mackenzie’s startled laugh.

“Wade?  You think Wade is who I want?”

Will’s brain was struggling to keep up with the conversation.  The words computed, but their meaning didn’t register.

“You… said heartbroken.  You dated him for several months.”  He furrowed his brow and frowned at her while he continued to lay his argument out in front of her.  “In the office earlier…”  She stared at him, disbelief clear on her face.  “You don’t love him?”  Mackenzie shook her head.  “You’re certain?”

“Certain that I’m not in love with Wade?”  Now Will nodded, and Mac frowned.  This conversation was downright painful, both in topic and circular nature, and Mackenzie wasn’t sure where the disconnect existed.  “I’m 100% sure that I’m not now and have never been in love with any man beside you.  Wade didn’t break my heart.  My heart never recovered from losing you.”  She nodded once, very slowly; her cards were fully on the table, and he had all the power.

“You still love me?”  He sounded doubtful.  “Even after everything that I’ve put you through?”

“I’ll love you forever, Billy.  It’s just a law of nature.”

His exhale sounded to her like a breathed ‘thank god’, but she didn’t have time to parse his breath before she was pulled back into Will’s arms.  His lips pressed feverish kisses to the top of her head and to her temples before she turned her lips to his.  Instantly, he was kissing her, years of pent up longing breaking through everything else.  Minutes passed as they relearned each other’s breath, remembered the feel of lips together.  Eventually, Will pulled back and held Mackenzie at a distance from him.

“Jesus, Mac, I’m so sorry.  For everything.”  Her look betrayed confusion.  Will felt shame wash over him, felt an immutable need to protect Mackenzie from any further hurt in her lifetime.

“I don’t… what are you sorry for?”

“I can’t even begin to enumerate the things that I’ve done for which I feel that I need to apologize.  For the moment, can we just say for every single day since we broke up?”  She shook her head, confusion remaining in her expression.  “There’s none of this that is your fault, Mackenzie.  Not any of it.  I’m the asshole, not you.  Not you…”  He trailed off, unable to eloquently explain what he meant to Mackenzie.  He would just have to spend the next fifty or sixty years showing her, working to repair the damage that he had inflicted on her.

 Will tugged Mackenzie back in against him, wrapped his arms around her and held her, just held her.  They jumped, startled when a voice sounded from the speaker above them; neither Will nor Mackenzie knew how long they had been that way, just soaking in the closeness of the other.

 “Um… are you alright?”  The voice was tinny, sounding from an emergency speaker that had not been updated with the digital age.

“What the fuck?” came Will’s startled reply.

“You… you pulled the emergency stop almost twenty minutes ago, but we haven’t been able to diagnose any issues with the car.”

“Shit.  Yeah.  I pulled it.  We needed a private conference space.”  Will reached forward and released the e-stop.  Immediately, the elevator car jolted into motion.  “We’re back on track.  Thanks.”

The speaker clicked off, leaving Mackenzie and Will in the silence of the space.  After a moment, Mackenzie’s giggles broke the quiet.

“That’s like getting caught making out on the couch by your parents.”  She beamed up at him.

“That, Mackenzie McHale, is a good idea.  What do you say we go back to my place and make out on the couch until your parents or mine come to break up the party?”

Mac laughed again, and Will found delight in the sound.  She reached toward the panel in the elevator and pressed the button to return them to their newsroom.

“The show must go on, Billy.”  He offered her a mild scowl.  “But, if you’re very well behaved and don’t fight me about the A block, I’m sure that we could arrange that trip to your couch after the show.”

“The show must go on,” Will parroted, reaching for her hand and threading their fingers together.  The weight of her fingers against his felt right, and for the first time since he and Mackenzie had broken up, Will could not have cared less about the show going on.  He knew what he needed, and now that it was back in his grasp, he’d never let her go again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Take good care, friends, until next time! I'm so thankful for this supportive and loving community of people!


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